Kings of Queens Show Doug selling water filters scene


Huh? Huh? All right.
I’ll take a filter. Yeah, what the hell.
I’ll take one too. I’m not asking you
to just buy a filter. I’m asking you to buy into
a way of life. I don’t even want the filter. Well, that you’re committed to.
You said yes. That’s an oral contract. So, what do you want from me? I want you to be a licensed
Sparkle Tap salesman and get rich. Are you sure
I’m gonna get rich? Yes, I am. Okay, I guess I’m in. Don’t be an idiot.
It’s a pyramid scheme. It is? It is not a pyramid scheme,
and shut-ee! How is it not
a pyramid scheme? You have a product
of little or no value, and the only actual profit comes from constantly
recruiting new members which you inevitably
run out of and the whole thing
collapses. Don’t make me
cactus-jack your ass. [COUGHING] Hey, Doug. Thanks again
for inviting me over. Haven’t heard from you
in a hell of a long time, guy. Yeah. Yeah, we should call
each other more, you know? Well… Well, I called you. I– I left you
a bunch of messages. Have you? Carrie is heavy with that
delete finger, you know? Not for me. Beep.
Not for me. Beep. We’ve had some real
blow-outs about that. Hey, no problem. The main thing
is we’re here now. Absolutely, man. This is what
it’s all about. Family. Hey, cousin. Hey. All right.
We got our snacks, we got our movie,
we got it all. Well, wait a second.
Beverages. How do you feel about water? It’s about family, huh? Yeah, as long as that family’s
buying a water filter! It filters
out the impurities! I don’t care.
I don’t like being used! Oh, what, are you gonna
make pizzas your whole life? Hey, it’s better
than paying $1000 for a water filter. No, no.
That was for the licenses! Whatever! So how’s
the water business? Good, and getting better. Cafiello, come on.
You’ve had time to think.

4 thoughts on “Kings of Queens Show Doug selling water filters scene

  1. Doug Heffernen: JUST BUY THE FREAKING FILTER?!

    Danny Heffernen: HELL NO BITCH!!! I’M NOT PAYING A DAMN THING!!!

    Doug Heffernen: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?! MAKE PIZZAS YOUR WHOLE LIFE!!!

    Danny Heffernen: THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I’M SPENDING A $1000 ON WATER FILTER!!!

  2. My Dumb ass Aunt was roped into a water filter mlm and lost many thousands of Dollars and tried too bail herself out of bankruptcy by roping my mother and father into it threw recruiting. Happened back in the late 1980's . She was and still is a Very dumb church going women.

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