[Awesome 90s pop/R&B] The world to you is proving bat-poop crazy Every day you’re amazed it’s like the universe is hazing you And most of the ways to express your rage Boil down to posting B.S. on your facebook page But posts are too short, they fly by in your feed You gotta slow the speed when you deliver a screed You need a full-on essay, esé, whatcha say? For you what you got to say there’s only one way You need a think piece! to put on Medium(.com) They’re fun to write, not always fun reading ’em Line up the dead horses, it’s time to start beating ’em ’Cause you need a think piece to put on Medium(.com) Thoughts on the election? Put it in a think piece! Don’t like One Direction? Put it in a think piece! Ya like guns for home protection? Put it in a think piece! Having a bout of introspection? Put it in a think piece! Think Piece! Think Piece! You spend hours staring at your feet With thoughts too deep to tweet, you need to be complete So treat this piece like your magnum opus the best way to cope with a world that feels hopeles It’s not really teaching, more like street preaching You could text more people than this piece will be reaching But it’s not about fame or trying to go viral It’s about breaking out of your depression spiral So write a think piece! And put it online This piece of your mind’s the only peace you can find It’s no solution, just a fun ax you can grind When you write a think piece and put it online Thoughts about Obama? Put it in a think piece! Jokes about your momma? Put it in a think piece! You like Futurama? Put it in a think piece! Complain about some drama! Put it in a think piece! Put it in a think piece! Put it in a think piece! Put it in a think piece! Post. Think Pieces. Pass them on. Or don’t They’re really more for you. Woosh. woosh.